I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
