I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
