You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
