tell your sister to shave her snatch
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
