I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
