Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
