Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
