nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
