I look better un-naked...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
