So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
