Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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