We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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