I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
