When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
