3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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