So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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