apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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