omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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