We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
