yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
