We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We have started to decorate penises.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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