we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
