well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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