cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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