Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
