why didn't you poke me back
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
