I wanna bring you to show and tell
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
