ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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