Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I need water and some morals
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
