my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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