i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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