the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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