Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
