good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
