I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
