Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
