dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
