porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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