I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This baby is an asshole
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
