I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
