I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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