We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
