i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
