you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
