Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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