Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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