Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
