i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
