just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
