im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
